I grew up in France and left when I was 18 in the summer of 2000 after passing the infamous “Baccalaureat”, Bac S nonetheless… At “lycee” from 1997 to 2000 I became great friends with E and P and spent this weekend with them. The same thing happened 3 years ago last time we met up, the minute I step on the plane to go back to London, I question EVERYTHING! These are the thoughts that go through my head (some rational, some not, some philosophy 101, some ridiculous but none a reflexion of my friends’ lives…):
- Could I ever live in the same place for ever?
- Could I live in a small town?
- Will I ever be happy?
- Is London the right place for me?
- Why don’t I live in France and have 40 days holiday?
- Why do I feel the need for so many “things”?
- Why don’t I do more cultural things?
- Why don’t I make the most of living in London?
- Isn’t it incredible how much your life can change in a few years?
- Is my life how I imagined it to be when we were at school together?
- Should I not do a job I am more passionate about?
- What else do I want in life?
- What is wrong with me? Maybe I just need a holiday?
- Why didn’t I bet more money on Brexit and Iceland to beat England then I bet I wouldn’t be feeling like this, would I?!
- Why am I listening to sad music on the train home, this is only making things worse…
I guess seeing them makes me think about my childhood and the different paths people take but every time it really disturbs me, it’s really weird. I miss my friends and I am super happy we are still friends nearly 20 years later and I hope our daughters all get to meet one day. In the meantime, it’s back to reality and enough with the questions!
Out of interest, anybody else ask themselves these questions?