Category Archives: Being a mum

Meetothermums.com

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood by

Hi everyone!

I am very pleased to announce I am now part of the meetothermums.com blogger squad! I will regularly be blogging on the site and you can find my posts along with others here: http://www.meetothermums.com/blog/bloggers

Meetothermums.com is a great website, it basically connects mums with other mums based on a variety of criteria such as common interests, location etc “Meet Other Mums has been designed by mums for mums to help you create a social network of like-minded mums who are living the same miracles, milestones and monotony that being a mum entails.” It’s free and very easy to join! If you’re interested in widening your circle of friends, you can join here.

blogsquad

 

A Week of Firsts

Posted in Being a mum, Life, Motherhood by

This week was A’s first week at nursery, you might think this means I went back to work this week but think again! Nope, I am a planning genius and have given myself 2 weeks of no baby and no work, which is equal to a life of leisure basically!

Anyway back to the harsh reality of leaving your baby at nursery for a whole day for the first time, it can be summarised by this: she screamed, I cried, I nearly called work to resign and take her out of nursery and then we both got over it and she was fine when I picked her up:

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By the time I picked her up last night, she was even happier after a week of stimulation and fun and tons of food it seems (this has had some very annoying consequences, which I won’t go into here…)

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She still screams every morning when I leave her but I’m not crying anymore and as soon as someone picks her up, she stops (I’ve spied through the window to check). On Monday, I had a lovely “sisterhood of mothers” moment when another mum noticed how upset I was after leaving her and spent 30 mins chatting to me and making me feel better. I got home and it felt WEIRD, it was even more strange to go on the tube WITHOUT A BUGGY, go shopping without her, have lunch with my aunt and uncle without a baby etc. Still the only clothes I bought were for her, Bella-Roo you are always on my mind!

On Wednesday, I took baby steps into the world of television…I will write a whole post about it with links etc. but if you’re interested, tune in to Sky News next Wednesday around 8.50AM and all will be revealed for 2 WHOLE minnutes! One of the most exciting parts involved having professional make up done, which hasn’t happened since my wedding!

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Yesterday, I finally got to use one of my best presents EVER! A great friend of mine gave me a spa voucher after the birth of baby A for what must be the best spa in London. 

  
I had a one hour body massage and then a facial, it was bliss. The facilities are amazing!! It was virtually empty so I had the whole “Thermal floor” to myself, it was such a treat and SOOOOOOO needed.

This was also the first week I didn’t breastfeed in the day and I am happy no report there were no embarrassing leakages, would definitely not be a good look on TV!

Next week, the life of leisure continues with shopping, afternoon tea, lunches, pedicures…

The 10 Month Itch

Posted in Being a mum by

This is going to be a very honest post and I would love you to share your opinions and experiences on the subject in the comments section. I know that I’m opening myself up to criticism and some people just won’t get where I’m coming from, still I doubt I am alone…So I’m going to cut to the chase and admit it: I’m bored of being a stay at home mum. I’m not skilled at all this baby stuff and need more.

I think we are both the same, A is now 10 months old and needs more stimulation too. This morning I went to a baby group and realised I’m just not great at playing with babies, it was lovely to see her happy but I had to push myself to make an effort for two reasons: time alone with her is running out and I am aware of this and secondly I didn’t want other parents to look at me and think “she’s not doing anything, she’s just watching her baby play on her own”. However A is very independent and loves new things so she was quite happy climbing on the dolls house for example:

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She also loves to keep an eye on what’s going on and is mesmerized by other children you can see by her staring below!

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My husband told me the other day that’s it’s not my personality to get down on the floor and play with her but it suits him (so she wont be so deprived after all!). I think I’m more of a “teacher” than a “player”, I really look forward to her reading, painting, cooking with me etc over the coming years. Building blocks and rattles just don’t do it for me. Don’t get me wrong, I do play with her but I really have to make an effort and don’t always really know what to do – I’m not in my element.

Does she feel it? does it impact on her negatively? Is this one of the reasons she whines quite a lot? Who knows…Some women have “working mum” guilt, I have “mum at home” guilt. This only started in the past month or 2, up until then I was OK but recently I’ve had enough and think the fact that she starts settling in to nursery soon is a very good thing. I have not wanted to go back to work early but I think 24/7 for 10 months is slightly too much.I know I need a break because the other day, I was in a shop alone (rare thing) and the cashier asked if I needed a bag and I very nearly replied “No thanks, I’ll just put it in the buggy”… A little caveat here: I am super stressed about the whole nursery run etc, I’m not in a dream world imagining its going to be rosy once I’m back at work, if anything I’ll probably be more stressed and tired!  I’ve not had enough time alone for various reasons and so I am very very excited about the last 2 weeks of October because she will be in nursery full time and I will not be working!

I had actually started to resent mums that seemed to be having the time of their life looking after their babies, it actually made me angry and guilty those feelings were really getting to me. After some soul searching good old Adele style analysis, I have come to the conclusion and accepted that I’m just not one of those women who “loves it” or who wants 4 children or who can’t imagine going back to work. I recently got asked if I was “enjoying it”, I half heartedly replied “yes” (I must stress than I’m enjoying it a lot more than the first month but less than months 2-6) In reality I love her more than anything and think she’s amazing and have enjoyed having a break from work and having the freedom to do lots of different things but it’s all a bit “Groundhog Day” and there are things about looking after a baby that I really don’t enjoy such as the whole weaning thing and the mess that ensues, fights over naps (I’ve been writing this whilst my baby has been in her bed refusing to nap, that’s the reality and how anybody can enjoy that I don’t know…), never ending nappy changes etc. Also I’m not really a big routine person, so the fact you do end up doing lots of the same things at the same time every day just doesn’t suit me (and we have a very loose routine). Add sleep deprivation on top of that (nope she doesn’t sleep through the night, no advice wanted thanks!) and you end up with a slightly frustrated tired bored mum.

Of course I can’t predict how I will feel once back at work, I might want to resign and be back at home after a week, who knows but for now, I need some “me time”, a lot more “me time”, even if this time is spent in front of a screen working with financial data…

When did you get the “itch”? Did you wish you had gone back to work earlier or later? Do you resent mums that LOVE it? How much of it came naturally to you? I would love to know!

linking up to Honest Mum’s Brillian Blog Posts:
Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

24 Hours Pre-Baby Versus Now

Posted in Being a mum, Life by

On Saturday we went to the Grillstock Festival down the road from us, they had given away tons of free tickets for local residents so it was a great opportunity to go and listen to some music and eat some BBQ! My husband being American, this was right up his street. However 15 mins in, I basically said “This is when you wish you didn’t have children ( I don’t mean wish they didn’t exist but wish somebody else would look after them for a day!) and could just sit here and drink all day and not have to get up tomorrow morning”. So it got me thinking how does 24 hours in a pre-baby life (PB) compare to now?

Friday 5PM

PB: Have a look around the office and ask: “Can we leave work and go to the pub now?”

Friday Feeling= it’s the weekend! We get to sleep in!

Now: Put baby in the high chair with finger foods and try to shove as much puree in to her mouth in the hope this will help her sleep.

Friday Feeling = it’s the weekend! Daddy will be here to help to look after the baby!

Friday 5.30PM:

PB: Drinking in the pub or on the way home wondering where we can for dinner

Now: Check time, 90 mins to go (until 7 PM, which is BED TIME!)… Clean high chair, clean baby and wonder if you have to bath her or if she’s “not that dirty”

Friday 6.30PM:

PB: Still drinking in the pub or on the way somewhere for dinner.

Now: Check time, 30 mins to go… whilst breastfeeding baby and reading stuff on the iPhone

Friday 9PM:

PB: nice dinner out somewhere

Now: TV and start contemplating going to bed

Friday 11PM:

PB: Go to bed or have one last drink somewhere

Now: Asleep

Saturday 3AM:

PB: Asleep

Now: get up to deal with baby (sometimes for the first time in the night, sometimes not…)

Saturday 7AM

PB: Asleep

Now: wake up to the sound of a baby moaning, feed baby in bed and put her in between us with plenty of toys and hope she will play quietly so we can snooze, what actually happen is she “attacks “ us, pulls our hair, screams (happy scramming but still screaming!), tries to leap off the bed etc.

Saturday 9AM:

PB: Asleep

Now: Go to your Osteo appointment because giving birth has wrecked your body and having your bones cracked now counts as “me time”. It’s raining and the streets are empty and the peace and quiet alone feels so nice!

Saturday 10AM:

PB: Wake up, have a leisurely peaceful breakfast

Now: Make your way home from the Osteo to find the Baby has had a 90 mins nap, this only happens when daddy is in charge.

Saturday 12PM:

PB: Put on a coat and your shoes and make your way to the festival

Now: Feed baby in the high chair, clean high chair and clean baby. Spend 15 mins getting “ready” and loading the buggy with water, snacks, toys, rain cover etc etc. Pray baby falls asleep in the buggy on the way there.

Saturday 3PM:

PB: relax listening to music, eating delicious food and drinking

Now: listen to music but not too close for fear of damaging baby’s ears, play “pass the baby” so one of you can eat whilst the other tries to entertain the baby and stop them from eating grass
Saturday 5PM:

PB: have another drink and keep enjoying the festival

Now: Home! Time for dinner. Feed the baby, clean the high chair, and clean the baby. You could have fed the baby in the buggy at the festival but you forgot to bring food and everybody was getting tired.

Saturday 7PM

PB: now you’re really having a good time and loving the music

Now: now you’re really happy as baby is asleep

Saturday 9PM:

PB: head home from the festival pretty drunk!

Now: think about going to bed and then remember it’s Saturday night so stay up until 10PM.

In summary:

PB: lots of sleep, drinking, relaxing and peace

Now: lots of work, cleaning, not so much sleeping but so much love and pure happiness

The end

An Open Letter To Marissa Mayer

Posted in Being a mum by

For those of you, who don’t know, Marissa is the CEO of Yahoo and recently announced this

Dear Marissa,

First, congratulations on your latest pregnancy! Secondly, I don’t actually expect you to ever read this, you clearly have other things to do. Finally I really admire you for being so successful in business, it’s a real achievement and inspiring for other women.

Since becoming a mum, I’ve learnt not to judge other parents so I’m not going to judge you but I do have some questions for you following your announcement that “My maternity leave will be a few weeks long and I’ll work throughout it.” Indeed I don’t understand a few things and was wondering if you could explain yourself?

  1. I’m sure you realise twins are often born premature (you’ve already quoted the likelihood of being pregnant with twins so I’m sure you’re clued up on all things scientifically twin-related) and might arrive months before you are due. Would this affect the length of your maternity leave as you may not give birth in December as planned?
  2. If they are indeed premature (which I sincerely hope they aren’t, my brothers were and it’s horrible to see them so tiny alone in incubators, I don’t wish that on anybody) and have to stay in hospital for while, how often will you visit them? would you still go back to work after 2 weeks and only see them in the evening?
  3. I assume you’re not even considering breastfeeding? Even the first week when the colostrum and first milk can have amazing benefits for newborns?
  4. What time will you be finishing work when you go back? Apologies for the detailed questions but I’m trying to get my head around all this.
  5. Why don’t you take a month off? Surely if Yahoo can survive 2 weeks without you, it can survive a month? especially if they are born when planned around December, surely things slow down around Christmas and it’s a nice time to be hoe with family?

It clearly isn’t easy for you whatever length of maternity leave you choose to take, you’re going to be judged harshly for it because you are a powerful, successful woman in the public eye. I think it’s a shame your announcement didn’t say anything about other working women, including your own employees and their choices around maternity leave.

Didn’t you think that other women working for Yahoo might think that, despite you having increased the paid maternity leave to 16 weeks since joining the company, you actually don’t think women should take that long? Maybe you wish to take longer but fear it may negatively impact the company too much? Is that more important than  newborn twins hardly seeing their mother? Didn’t you think clarifying that you do/or don’t expect any of your employees to do the same would be helpful?

You had the opportunity to to address a big issue that matters to millions of women and you just made it sound like you couldn’t take more than 2 weeks because the company needs you more. Maybe this is a misunderstanding, maybe not. I know you once said that you wanted to take 6 months maternity leave but then you were just about to start the new job at Yahoo so it was impossible, is it really impossible to take more than 2 weeks off this time?

Maybe you simply don’t want to take longer off and that is totally fine and respectable but then why didn’t you say “I find looking after newborns boring and tiring and would rather be in the office, qualified nannies would probably look after them better than me anyway”, if you said that, I think people would really respect you for being honest, instead you’ve just been vague. Given how bad the law around maternity leave in the US is, its a shame you didn’t use this opportunity to make a stand. I guess you’re not a politician and you don’t have to justify anything to anyone but with great success, comes great responsibility and it’s a missed opportunity to further working women’s rights.

It’s not easy for working mums and I don’t feel like you are helping anybody, on the contrary, I think it puts even more pressure on working mums to come back to work quickly, especially women in senior positions.

Lots of commentators have been saying “if she were a man , we wouldn’t be having this discussion”, no we wouldn’t but I doubt there are many male CEOs, whose wives give birth and then within 2 weeks, they are both back to work full time. I don’t imagine your husband is going to stay home, is he? So the babies will not have either parent at home, I think that’s sad.

I respect your choice and you are VERY lucky to be able to choose to go back to work so quickly despite being a millionaire and obviously not doing it for financial reasons, lots of women, don’t have a choice and have to go back to work to earn money.

I respect but can’t understand your choice (I’m not a CEO so clearly can’t imagine your professional life) and I can’t understand why you didn’t just add a few sentences to your announcement that said something along the lines of ” I am not trying to set an example to other Yahoo mothers, they are fully entitled to use the 16 weeks of maternity leave that is our policy, they should be supported in their choice. I do not see it in a negative light to take the full allowance and it should not have a detrimental effect on any woman’s career”.

I wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy and just hope that in the future the US government dramatically improves the maternity leave situation and no woman working for Yahoo or another company feels guilty about taking longer than 2 weeks off after giving birth.

You can respond to this in the comments below 🙂

Linking up to:
Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

 

9 Months Later

Posted in Being a mum, Life, Motherhood by

A is 9 months old today, time really started flying once she turned 6 months old, it feels like the quickest summer ever!

Back in October, my first day of maternity leave, I really didn’t know what to expect, one thing I was totally wrong about was thinking my baby would be on time ” I am convinced she is trying to escape so I don’t think we will have to wait until her due date of November 12th to meet her”, I had to wait until 2 weeks after her due date to meet her!!!

One thing I was right about was that things would change at work “I do wonder what I will come back to, how the company will have changed and how I will have changed, who knows how I will feel in months to come”. I don’t go back until November 2nd but I know things will be different. My brain is definitely different and not in a good way!

As for me, have I changed? In what way(s)?

My addiction to social media has gone through the roof, it’s all that spare time you see…Also my blog has gained a lot more readers and some exciting things have started happening (the Mirror published an article about my experience of tongue tie, its been shared more than 300 times!), I really need to make sure I stick to it when I go back to work. its the one thing that has just been “mine”, I know I write a lot about baby related things but it gives me “me” time.

Unfortunately I don’t think blogging has stopped my brain from shrinking 😦 maybe I should stick to making tea the first week I am back at work because I am seriously unsure of how fast my brain can process things nowadays. The lack of sleep doesn’t help, I can really feel like it has slowed down. This morning I thought we were being burgled and then realised it was the cleaner coming in…I had forgotten we have a cleaner that comes every Wednesday, she was off last week and boom: my brain completely forgot about her! I kept thinking: who has the keys? who could it be? Embarrassing.

I’m less judgmental now, once you’ve had a baby you learn not to judge a book by its cover and unless you’ve been in the same situation you can’t always understand people’s actions.

Here are some other things I’ve learnt:

  • I don’t actually need to buy as many clothes as I used to nor spend as much money as before to be happy
  • Never moan about bras again, maternity bras may be comfy but make your boobs look awful
  • Having a husband that cleans and is tidy is life changing
  • Love for your child is not something you can imagine until you have one
  • I think I’ve become more assertive and would stand up for myself more than ever
  • My body is stronger than I ever thought
  • The importance of friends and family is much greater once you’re a parent
  • Parenthood can be all consuming and affect you more deeply than anything else
  • Instincts are seriously powerful
  • The sound of your baby laughing is the best in the world

Happy 9 months Bella-Roo! Looking forward to making the most of the end of maternity leave together!

What “They” Don’t Tell You About Motherhood…Part 1

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood by

I’ve been thinking of what “advice” to give a pregnant friend of mine and to be honest I’m wondering if I should give her any advice at all as I’ve only had one baby and I don’t want to influence her too much. For example a friend of mine told me not to rock babies because they get addicted, I took this as bible and told my mum off for rocking the baby to sleep. It’s far from ideal to rock your baby to sleep for months but when they are a few days old, it’s no big deal!

So here are some tips/experiences/advice/truths in my option that might or might not be helpful:

-Read all baby books with a big pinch of salt and don’t stress if your baby does not to seem to behave as it “should” at all

-Breastfeeding books on the other hand are useful because it can really help to be aware of some facts around latching, growth spurts, tongue tie and milk supply for example

-Get the name of one or 2 lactation consultants whilst pregnant in case you need one and don’t wait to call one if feeding is not going well. If in doubt, get help ASAP! Feeding can be much harder than you could ever imagine

-If you’re struggling, be American and “reach out” to your family or other mums you know or even me! There is no shame in finding it hard, no shame in not loving your baby to start off with, no shame in hating the whole thing, no shame in feeling low, no shame in feeling you don’t know what you’re doing, no shame in crying every day, no shame in wondering why the hell you had a baby, no shame in needing help. Same goes for feeling like it’s easy, lucky you! but maybe be careful about shouting about it to other new mums too loudly.

-Nothing lasts: they sleep then they don’t, they have good days and bad days, it usually does get better but it can take a long time.

-I’ve mentioned it before: the buggy and fresh air are your friends

-Even if you don’t want to, you will compare your baby to others but remember baby ABC may be doing X before yours but then yours will do something else before the others and most “milestones” mean nothing. Einstein started talking aged 4…

-You might think you’ve died and gone to heaven after having a baby and want another one straight away and you might think : never again! Both are acceptable

-The crying can be very hard to handle, it peaks at 3 months so hang in there! Somehow it’s not as bad when you’re outside

-Trust your instincts not google

-What works for one baby might not work for another, it’s not a science but an art…

-The first time you do anything will be daunting but after a while you’ll be taking your baby on a plane alone…

-You will laugh and smile at the tiniest of things, they bring you more joy than anything, it really is all worth it!

 If you remember one thing:  “The days are long but the years are short”

Mini B’s Birth Story

Posted in baby, Being a mum, Motherhood by

*Warning, this is a long post so you may want to get a cup of tea!*

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. I don’t want to forget the most important day of my life, the day I became a mum. I’ll try and keep it “light” but I’m not going to lie…

Now where to start…to start with I was expecting hell (its’ probably good to go inot this whole childbirth thing expecting it to be hard, this was you wont be disappointed!), extreme pain because my mum (who has had 5 children) told me that “it’s not worth me describing the pain because it’s so bad you can’t imagine it” and “female marathon runners can go faster after they’ve given birth because the pain doesn’t compare to the pain of giving birth”, enough said basically!

Like everyone, my priority was to get the baby out safely, my main worry was about my tendency to sometimes give up easily so I wrote myself some words of encouragement on my phone a few weeks before (this was actually helpful):

  • You can do it
  • Think of mini b and her safety
  • The harder you push the quicker it will be over
  • She will come out for sure
  • Positive
  • A cuddle is very nearly there
  • Think of Justin holding her
  • It’s just one day

And this was my birth plan:

Yes: water birth, low lighting, cord cut after pulsating, dad to cut cord, placenta injection, vitamin k injection, skin to skin straight away, birth squatting or kneeling, ideally not lying down, walking around a lot during contractions, lots of explanations on everything
No: forceps, cord cut too quickly, lots of people in the room, pethidine

The reality was slightly different. To start with I was induced so a water birth was out of the window. The problem with induction is that it’s not natural and you’re in an environment that is not conducive to going into labour at all. Giving birth was one of the most natural, primitive, animalistic things I’ve ever done, instincts take over and when you’re trying to start the process of giving birth to your baby in a hospital cubicle next to woman who arrived with her homeless partner smelling of pee, another couple where the husband was watching the Football on TV loudly and screaming along to it (why headphones are not compulsive on labour any hospital wad I do not know!), well basically Mother Nature says NO!

This is me the day I was due:

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This timeline will summarise the process:

  • Due date: nothing
  • Week after that: 1 or 2 sweeps (I can’t remember, all I know is they are painful and did nothing!)
  • Due date +7: nothing
  • Week after that: 2 sweeps but still nothing
  • Due date +12: MIDWIFE STRIKE for the first time in nearly a 100 years, you would think the stress of that on the day you are due to be induced would be enough to put you into labour, well no! and they had forgotten about me and didn’t want me to come in but I did anyway and a great midwife got me a bed on the labour ward. Another sweep. Induction process starts at 5PM with a pessary.
  • Due date +13: nothing except back pain
  • Due date + 13, 10PM: still nothing except back pain, taken down to labour ward.

I was very bored of sitting here:

Labour ward at UCLH

  • Due date + 14 at 5AM: baby A born weighing 3.97 kilos with a head size that was off the charts unfortunately for me…

That’s all 🙂 Ha! don’t worry I’m not going to miss out the “action”!

Once in the delivery suite, my husband went to lie down in the bathroom as he couldn’t sleep the night before as he kept thinking I was going to call him to rush to the hospital, I just sat on the ball and my mum got the hot water bottle filled up (this was the only thing giving me some relief) because the back pain was really bad at this point but no contractions. My waters were broken around 11PM, I will never forget when the doctor said to the trainee “Would you like to do it?” and the trainee replied “I’ve never done it before”, I think the look I both gave them meant a thousand words, needless to say the doctor broke my waters.

This is when things get a bit less clear, I think I started getting some contractions and using gas and air but they weren’t as bad as the back pain. Things were not progressing very fast at all so the midwife suggested the drip to accelerate the contractions. I had read a lot about this (and randomly remember it from episodes of MTV’s “teenage mom”, I know I’m weird!) and told her that I will only have the drip if I can get an epidural as I know that you can basically go from 0 to 100 and be in terrible pain. The anesthetist then appeared and told me he could come back and give me an epidural in around 2 hours as he was busy. The midwife then suggested some diamorphine (heroin basically) for the back pain and the contractions that were getting a bit stronger (to be honest I don’t really remember contractions much at all). I accepted and off she went. This is where things actually get quite funny. Once the diamorphine kicked in a few minutes later, I started to relax A LOT and basically got high so here is Funny Labour Moment Number 1:

Me to husband: “whatever I say over the next few hours, you will not hold against me”

Me to mum : “when ISIS come to your house, do not let them in because they are bad people”

Me to both of them: “the trader from Hong Kong, who killed that prostitute is in my bed on labour ward and I’m not happy because he is using my TV card”, “if there were no men in the world, it would be a much better place”. So yes I solved the world’s problem’s whilst in labour…

And guess what happens when you fully relax? You go INTO LABOUR and dilate from about 3 cms to 10 in around an hour. This is when things started going a lot quicker.

A quick point before I move on about having my mum in the room. It was really important for me to have her there, despite having had 5 children she had never seen a baby be born 🙂 My dad did not understand this at all, he said childbirth was “an intimate moment between a couple”, well to start with there is always at least one other person in the room and I believe in getting all the help you can (yes I don’t work at the moment and still have a cleaner for example! Not exactly the same thing but you get the idea…). I’m really glad she was there, it meant twice as much encouragement, it gave my husband the opportunity to take “breaks” when he needed to, it reassured me and when she said she could see the head, I believed her! She was also there for a week after A was born (it was meant to be for longer but as A was late, it was cut short), again I don’t understand the whole “we want it to just me us as a couple bonding with the baby”, that’s all good and well when everything is easy but without my mum being with us the first week it would have been so much harder (I had to go back to hospital for an evening because my stitches got infected for example) and I’m pretty sure I would have given up breastfeeding without her support.

Anyway, back to the action! Suddenly things really got moving and I felt the need to stand up, ill spare you the details but the midwife told me “you don’t need to xyz, you need to push this baby out” and here comes Funny Labour Moment Number 2, I replied to this “I don’t need to push yet, the  man is coming for the epidural and then you will put the drip in”, Midwife: “you are 10 cms dilated, you need to push”. Me  (still a bit high on what is basically heroin): you don’t understand! the man will be here soon, we have to wait for him!”

I’m not sure when I came to my senses but it was time to PUSH!

A word on pushing, this was probably the most technically advanced/difficult physical movement I have ever had to do. I didn’t get it at all at first! I started by pushing into my throat and then I wasn’t really pushing etc.. So I took a moment to get my head around it whilst chewing on the gas and air pipe (at one point the midwife even asked me why I was inhaling the gas and air as I wasn’t having a contraction (I felt like a naughty school girl!). I pictured moving a bowling ball away from”down there” by blowing air out. Well I finally got it and pushed and pushed for I think over an hour but Mini B’s big head was not coming out without an episiotomy ( I wish this hadn’t happened as it has caused me so much pain and issues ever since). There were a few other Funny Labour Moments during all this, for example when I told the midwife (who was great by the way and kept me calm and on the straight and narrow as I was panicking and wanting to give up) that  “I couldn’t do this and if we could please do this another day” , she replied that “no, and who on earth is going to do this if it wasn’t you?!”. At one point the baby’s heart arte was really dropping so she explained she was going to attach a monitor to the top of her head, I explained in turn ” that’s the one thing I don’t want you to do”, when I asked “why?”, I calmly responded that I had seen this on TV (good old one born every minute) and that it “looked horrible”. She attached the monitor despite this very valid objection!

So finally on due date + 14 at 5.09AM, mini B came out after a few last pushes that were really really painful, just when you think the pain can’t get any worse it does right at the end! Burning is the word that comes to mind…

However what “they say” is true, you forget the pain, the minute it’s over.

These were my thoughts when they handed her to me:

  1. She’s so big!
  2. She has so much hair!
  3. This is definitely my baby

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By now, I had gotten so good at this bloody pushing malarkey that the most comic moment of whole thing happened, I pushed the placenta out so strongly it landed in the midwife’s lap. I knew I would get it!

So now for the gushy bit…nothing compares to childbirth. Not only do you feel superhuman but it’s overwhelming love at first sight, I knew at 5.09AM on November 26th 2014 that I would love her forever and want to protect her from everything, I didn’t think I could do it but I did and there is no way I could ever be that strong for something else unless I was saving her life in a disaster or something. Mini B, Bella Roo as I have said before, I love you more than anything and would do it all again for this moment:

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10 Naughty Things I Have Done Since Becoming A Mum (and some I still do!)

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So let’s be honest, having a baby is far from easy (even though some people seem to make it look/sound easy, I’m pretty sure these are the same people who “never revised” for exams but always got good grades…) and sometimes a mum’s gotta do what a mum’s gotta do to survive! I’m not proud of this list of 10 naughty things I’ve done as a mum but I hope it makes some of you feel better! Some of these are funny, some sad and some not really that bad …

  1. Said “I’m fine” when clearly I wasn’t and didn’t understand what on earth I was supposed to be “enjoying” about motherhood – I’ll admit it I hated most of the first month but that’s OK, especially when you’re dealing with tongue tie
  2. Put the baby down for a nap “awake but drowsy”, I.e. Crying, get in the shower and then pray that once I turn the water off, the crying will have stopped – thankfully we are finally past this stage
  3. Told my newborn to shut up in the middle of the night – again see above
  4. Relied heavily on “buggy naps” – definitely still happens especially in the afternoon
  5. Not washed my hair for nearly a week – thankfully this doesn’t happen anymore, definitely need a hair cut though
  6. Pretend I didn’t have time to cook so we can have a takeaway for dinner – this still happens but my husband doesn’t read my blog!
  7. Spend far too much time on my phone rather than get down on the floor and play with my daughter – need to work on this one
  8. Eat chocolate every day – see above
  9. Put the iPad in front of my 7 month old during breakfast so I can drink my tea in peace – have now discovered CBeebies and it’s even better!
  10. Give me my baby McFlurry as her first taste of food – she loved it of course!

What would your list be? Has anybody else done any of these?

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Maman, Mummy and Mom

Posted in Being a mum by

I was born in England and then moved to France when I was 7 and came back to England to go to University when I was 18 years old and have been in London ever since, that’s my life basically and that’s why I am bilingue.

My introduction to the French language was quite traumatic, I was put in a French school knowing only a few words, namely: “bonjour, merci, aurevoir, s’il vous plait and chausson aux pommes (I was addicted to them so quickly learnt how to ask for one in the boulangerie). It wasn’t easy but it was definitely an effective way of learning the language as a few tears, lifelong traumatic childhood moments (they are for another post, it involved learning poems by heart…) and 3 months later I could speak French as well as the other enfants. I was even top of the class after the second trimestre (to be fair I was put back a year to help with the language barrier, I then jumped “CE2” two years later so I was back in the right school year).

Hopefully A’s language development won’t be so traumatic! So far I have been speaking both languages to her and now realise this isn’t going to work. I find it weird speaking French to her when I’m around people who only speak English but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do and so from now on it’s français all the way. This should avoid confusion and hopefully she will end up bilingual, its not going to be easy as she lives in England, has an American dad (hence one day if we live in the US, I will become “mom”, I don’t really like that idea as I associate that word with ‘soccer mom” and I cannot be one of those ! Shoot me if I do become one) and I am basically the only regular exposure she has to French. When she is older she can watch French TV and I must start reading French books to her. I’m convinced one of her first words will be “bisou” because I give her like 100 of those a day (did I just write “like”? I’m already becoming a MOM!)

The advantages of being bilingual are obviously numerous; I got my first “proper” job thanks to my language skills and they really helped my career. Also once you know one language, it really is easier to learn others, indeed there was a time when I spoke German (I have to blog about living in Berlin one day).

I have to stop being lazy and not worry about others and really make an effort to speak French to her so then hopefully we will be able to talk behind papa’s back without him understanding a word 🙂