Category Archives: Motherhood

How I Got Over My Fear Of Investing With Nutmeg.com

Posted in Life, Motherhood, product review by

*This post is not sponsored by Nutmeg, all opinions are my own however they did collaborate by sending me a few articles on women and investing. Also I’m not a professional financial advisor, this simply represents my experience and non-professional opinion.”

“It’s very important to have your own financial independence”, this is what the mother of my boyfriend at the time told back in 2003, I have never forgotten those and I have never forgotten him for that matter (we’re talking seriously hot French man…). However I bet if I did a quick poll of  my female readers most of them would admit that either:

  • their husband deals with their savings and investments
  • most of their money is in a safe cash ISA

Am I right? Who manages your family’s savings and investments? I would love to know!

I have worked in the City for 12 years, I even work for a data management company but I have no financial education and despite my job don’t feel comfortable with actively investing. I lack confidence and that seems to be a common trait amongst women, this sense of lack of knowledge and confidence, which we must overcome!

A few years ago I set up a stocks and shares ISA to try and make more money than the low interest rate I was getting on my cash ISA but I never used because I was just too scared and frankly uneducated about fund/bond/stock picking so I closed it. And I’m definitely not the only one, even though women are statistically better at investing as per a Nutmeg article, they definitely don’t believe it, I’m convinced testosterone levels have an impact on this!

A few months ago I saw an advert for Nutmeg who do the hard/complicated work for you by choosing what goes into your stocks and shares ISA portfolio. I read some reviews (including this one and this one) and decided to open an account (minimum is £500). It is super easy! They told me their number of clients is up 49% year on year as of the end of July 2016 so I’m not the only one who thinks its a great service! If you want better returns than the usual low interest rates you get on cash ISAs or savings accounts then I’d highly recommend you look into them. Here are some examples based on different risk levels:

I’d also highly recommend that in general women take more interest in their investments, you hear too many stories of women who realise too late that their other half has been taking crazy risks with their money, lost it or they just don’t know how much money they have saved and where. It is YOUR money and your future after all!

Back to Nutmeg, there are 3 main steps for setting up an account:

  • How much you want to put in (one lump sum or regular contributions)
  • What risk level you are comfortable with (this determines what they invest your money in)
  • What your investment timeline is
  • options

It also asks what your goal is so you can see if you will achieve it . Obviously nobody can predict the future (so it’s all in theory) but it tells you there is x% of chance that you will reach your goal. This also means that your investments can go DOWN. As the saying goes “past performance is no guarantee of future results”.

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It then builds a portfolio for you, they generally use “exchange-traded funds (ETFs) because they’re easy to trade, low cost and aim to track the movement of market indices with a high degree of accuracy”, you can find out more here: https://www.nutmeg.com/how-we-invest/etf-guide

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You can access your account 24/7 and take your money out at any time without exit fees. The fee that they do charge “starts at 0.95% and goes as low as 0.3%, including VAT, depending on the amount you invest. The more you invest, the lower your fee.” Remember that the full Stocks and Shares ISA allowance for the tax year 2016/2017, as of 6th April, is £15,240. If you want to invest more with them you can but it won’t be tax free.
There are 10 different risk levels and you can create multiple portfolios within the same ISA at different levels (which is what I have done).

All I know is that this ISA has gone up more in a few months than my cash ISA (that has 3 times more money in it) has in 2 years. That’s just my experience  and that’s all I’m trying to do with this blog post, let people know about a product I think is really easy and fills a gap in the market, if I encourage women to get more involved with their savings then all the better!

I’m seeing this as a medium/long term way of investing (ideally to be able to move house one day and the second portfolio is for a future amazing holiday, that one has a higher risk level because I’m happy to gamble more with that one, it’s the one with the better performance, the higher the risk the higher the rewards but you have to be OK with potentially losing some of the money, I can’t stress this enough!)

I think Nutmeg is a great way for women (and men of course!) to take charge of some of their savings in a simple way, everything is super clear and transparent on the website (and you can see what makes up the portfolio, how that portfolio has performed compared to other similar ones from other providers (this is called benchmarking, the only thing I really know about as I sell benchmark data!) and what the predicted outcome is.Here are some comparative examples:


Don’t be afraid! As per this article, lack of confidence often holds women back, which is a real shame, you can always use a low risk level to get comfortable to start with. Inform yourself is all I can recommend and of course there are plenty of financial advisers out there much more qualified than me!
My main point is to encourage you to take more interest in YOUR money and Nutmeg is a great way to do it in my opinion. If you want to know more, their FAQ section is very comprehensive. For some other tips and advice, you might find these posts interesting:

Working Mum Life Hacks

What To Buy For Baby

10 Things To Do Before Maternity Leave Ends

A Much Needed Spa Afternoon at ESPA at The Corinthia

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood, product review by

I got a voucher for some treatments at ESPA at The Corinthia from a very dear friend just after I gave birth to A back in November 2014, I had a great experience and today I went back for the 3rd time. There are times in life, especially in a working mum’s life, when you need to treat yourself and escape. For me, the ideal way is to go here:

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The spa is on the first floor of the beautiful hotel, just walking in to the impressive lobby puts a smile on my face:

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I was greeted very nicely and enthusiastically by the lady at the reception desk and offered a drink (chamomile and mint tea, it wasn’t very warm and I’m not sure if that’s how it’s supposed to be or not…))whilst I filled in a medical questionnaire (I should have asked why I was doing this as I had done this before). There is a café next to the reception area where all the products are shown, I didn’t use the café. There is complimentary water, fruit and nuts in the actual spa area in the floors below.

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You are then taken to the changing rooms, where everything you could ever need is provided (slippers, robes, hairdryers, magazines, all sorts of products, showers, sauna etc).

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I had about an hour and a half before my massage and mini facial, which I spent very happily sitting in the massive Jacuzzi, which is next to the pool on the thermal floor, which is 2 floors down from the ladies changing rooms:

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I also had a lie down in a “sleep pod” and then finally sat down to read on the heated beds by the fire in the changing rooms, despite the lack of privacy, this was my favourite bit as it was so warm and cozy. Honestly just reading Marie Claire in peace was such a treat, I’d pay just for that.

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I probably came across 10 other guests in total, it was really nice and quiet.

I was then taken to a really nice treatment room (one of 17) for my massage and express facial. The therapist was seriously good, she listened to me and gave me the exact massage I needed. She focused on my shoulders and upper back and told me at the end that indeed I had a LOT of tension and knots in that area and that I need to have massages more often, well if she says so 🙂

All the ESPA products they use are natural and ethically sourced and smell and feel lovely!

I actually enjoyed the facial a lot more than usual, I don’t know if its because the products smelt so nice or because I was already super relaxed but it was really enjoyable, apparently I need to drink more water, quelle surprise!

Anyway, here I am “glowing” afterwards:img_0109

It’s amazing what 4 hours in a Spa, far away from reality can do! It’s definitely a luxury spa with high quality treatements and facilities but if you want a treat, you can go wrong by choosing the Corinthia.

And guess who was very happy to see me when I got home?

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So As Not to Forget What My Daughter is Like At 19 Months Old

Posted in baby, Being a mum, Motherhood, Uncategorized by

Time is flying! A will be 2 in November and when I see pictures of a year ago, I realise how much children change and you can easily forget what they were like. This blog is a great way to make sure I don’t forget. I’m not sure I could forget such cheekiness and craziness. Here are some photos from the past 4 days that sum my monster up pretty well, I wouldn’t change her for the world!

  
Thursday night post nursery snack wearing sunglasses, she loves to “accesorize” with bags, hats, glasses, my jewellery etc. She usually puts something on her arm, says “bye bye” and walks off!

   
 
Friday morning playing with mummy’s hair, this caused much laughter and I lost a few hairs in the process! Later that day, I took her for a haircut, she has very straight hair and the minute her fringe gets a bit long she literally can’t see! Here is the result:

  
A likes to give orders and on Saturday it was “off” as in we have to both take our clothes off (I was allowed to keep my underwear on!)

  
A also likes to throw and empty things and say “uh ho” as if some mysterious ghost was to blame

   
 
She loves baby but baby ended up in the bin and was “sad”, poor baby having A for a mummy!

  
Sunday night story reading was accompanied by sunglasses of course, daddy then proceeded to “help” by putting on some relevant music at 7PM

   

 
Needless to say things can get quite tiring but we’re never bored even if we both get frustrated (I’ve missed out any pictures of tantrums and moaning!), she’s my cheeks and I love her. She’s just got my crazy family’s genes!

Anyway Allez Les Bleus!

Working Mum Life Hacks

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood by

2 months ago I went back to work (I can’t believe I just typed that!). I thought maternity leave went by quickly, well working weeks go by even faster!

I thought I would share a few “life hacks” or tips for mums about to go back to work as a few changes here and there can really make your new life as a working mum easier!

  • My main advice would be: do not combine your first day back at work with the first day of childcare because you’ll spend all day worrying about your baby and if you’re like me, you’ll probably cry so will turn up looking a mess on your first day back! The other reason to start childcare before work is to have some time when you are neither working nor looking after your child, this is your last chance for some well-deserved “me time” for a while. Family holidays are lovely but nothing beats spending a weekday afternoon at a spa whilst everyone is at work and somebody else is picking up your baby’s lunch from the floor…
  • I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it again, it’s really important to have a plan for emergency childcare. Indeed s*** happens, case in point: I’m writing this from a plane on my way to my first overnight work trip and was called earlier today by the nursery to go and pick up A as she has a temperature. Thankfully Mister B is looking after her but let’s just say calls like that 2 hours before you’re about to leave for the airport add to the stress…(then your plane is delayed and that’s when you really have to take a deep breath!)
  • Get your clothes and your child’s clothes ready every night. You don’t really want to have to think much in the morning!
  • Talking of clothes, I underestimated the effect nursery can have on children’s clothes, basically they get wrecked! So buy second hand or cheap clothes that can get stained or lost, without you being bothered about it. I now separate “nursery” clothes from “nice” clothes one.
  • I was really struggling with the whole week-night cooking thing despite being quite an organised person and doing online shopping. I just couldn’t plan far ahead enough and would lack motivation after the whole “train-nursery-home-bedtime” thing that I decided to do something before our diets suffered too much (and I started spending all my money at M and S at the station!). People, there is a solution and it’s called Hello Fresh. Every Sunday evening they deliver 3 meals worth of delicious food with very clear and easy recipe cards. Each meal takes between 20 and 40 mins to prepare. I don’t have to go food shopping, I don’t have to think of what to eat and in exchange we try new foods (pearl barley anyone?), learn new techniques and eat delicious healthy food Monday to Wednesday (Thursday is Chipotle Burrito day and I’m off on Fridays so have time). I love it! The second delivery was 90 mins late but their customer service was great so I’m sticking with it for now.
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  • Stay on top of washing during the week (a washing machine with a timer helps), you don’t want to spend all weekend doing washing and those dirty nursery clothes need washing asap!
  • If you can, get a cleaner! I’d rather not buy coffee than spend Saturday morning cleaning. It’s the best 20 pounds I spend every week, I’m convinced cleaners provide one of the best value for money services around.
  • Try and negotiate some kind of flexible working arrangement, part time or at least a day working from home, I have Fridays off and it keeps me sane!

All in all, 2 months later I am happy I’m working but wouldn’t want to be doing 5 days a week, all the little things above make our lives run smoother, I also happen to have a very helpful and tidy husband, which makes a massive difference. Behind every great working woman, there is a man, who cleans the kitchen every night and never leaves his stuff lying around!

What are your tips?

10 Things To Do Before Maternity Leave Ends

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood, Uncategorized by

1. Start your childcare arrangements BEFORE you go back to work. My daughter started full time at nursery 2 weeksbefore I went back and those weeks were bliss and meant she was more settled when I finally started work again (less traumatising all round!). You won’t get real alone time for a long long time so make the most of it!

2. Try on your old work clothes, after a baby, it’s likely some stuff is not going to fit anymore. Then treat yourself to a few nice new things, it will make you feel more confident and you deserve it! TK Maxx, GAP and MandS are great places to look.

3. Work out an evening meal menu for the first 2 weeks back. Trust me, you’ll be tired, maybe emotional and the last you’ll want to do after the nursery pickup and bed time is think of what to cook!

4. If you have access, logon to your work email and delete, delete, delete. Despite having been removed from many distribution lists, I had accumulated TONS of emails over the 11 months I was off.

5. Meet friends for lunch because that is about to go out of the window!

6. A little grooming or a new haircut for example can make you feel more confident when you’re back in the working world.

7. Sort through baby clothes, toys and other “stuff” and put stuff on ebay, donate to charity etc. You really won’t have the time or motivation for such tasks once you’re back at work.

8. If you can, go to a spa or for afternoon tea or the cinema or just do something lovely during the day ALONE!

9. Spend a day at home doing nothing as that’s basically not going to happen again for 18 years

10. Find a working mum friend or “mentor”, I’m lucky to be surrounded at work by some great other working mums who are very supportive and understanding. Nobody else will get why you’re in tears because the nursery have called to say your baby is sick and you’re about to go away on your first overnight business trip abroad. Ladies, you know who you are and you are the best.

First Day Back at Work

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood, Uncategorized by

This post was originally published on meetothermums.com (http://www.meetothermums.com/blog/view/backtowork)

After taking 54 weeks off work, I hung up my maternity bra, got my nice bag out and went into panic mode as my daughter (Arabella) was too ill to go to nursery on my first day back at work AFTER A YEAR. She had started nursery full time 2 weeks before I was due back and guess what happens at nursery? Babies get sick, especially at the beginning. As a side note, I would highly recommend not combining your first day back at work with baby’s first day at nursery or with a childminder as if you’re anything like me, you’ll end up crying and feeling very emotional. There is no way I could have left her and then gone to the office. I would not have managed to concentrate and it would have been awful.  The Wednesday before I was due to go back I picked her up from nursery and she had quite a high fever. I spent the next few days coming up with “Plan B” for childcare. I don’t know why I hadn’t looked into this earlier, anyway… I then discovered there are websites set up to provide emergency childcare so I organised for a local nanny to come over on Sunday.

Come Sunday I could tell Arabella wasn’t going to be well enough to go to nursery. My husband couldn’t take the day off either (no matter what I was going to work that day!) so I came up with the genius idea of flying my mum over from France (she was actually quite excited to be coming over to see us all) as no matter how nice this nanny might be, I wasn’t really comfortable with leaving her with someone we didn’t know and if she was going to be sick for a few days it was going to cost more to pay for emergency childcare than fly my mum over! In typical nightmare fashion, half way through the interview, my mum called to say her plane was cancelled due to fog, a lot of fog so there wasn’t going to be a flight the next day either. So the emergency nanny got hired on the spot!

Having a nanny made my first day a lot less stressful in the end as there was no nursery run and nobody was going to call me to come and up pick her up. When I got home, the funniest, sweetest thing happened. She handed me Arabella and straight away she started waving goodbye to the nanny, as if to say “you can go now, mummy is here”, it made my day and nearly made up for the fact I had to be reunited with this awful device:

So my advice for your first day back at work would be:

  • Don’t combine it with the first day of childcare
  • Have a plan B and C for childcare in case of sickness
  • Prepare everything you and your baby need the night before
  • Accept the fact it’s going to feel weird and not going to be easy but it gets easier after the first day

Meetothermums.com

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood by

Hi everyone!

I am very pleased to announce I am now part of the meetothermums.com blogger squad! I will regularly be blogging on the site and you can find my posts along with others here: http://www.meetothermums.com/blog/bloggers

Meetothermums.com is a great website, it basically connects mums with other mums based on a variety of criteria such as common interests, location etc “Meet Other Mums has been designed by mums for mums to help you create a social network of like-minded mums who are living the same miracles, milestones and monotony that being a mum entails.” It’s free and very easy to join! If you’re interested in widening your circle of friends, you can join here.

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A Week of Firsts

Posted in Being a mum, Life, Motherhood by

This week was A’s first week at nursery, you might think this means I went back to work this week but think again! Nope, I am a planning genius and have given myself 2 weeks of no baby and no work, which is equal to a life of leisure basically!

Anyway back to the harsh reality of leaving your baby at nursery for a whole day for the first time, it can be summarised by this: she screamed, I cried, I nearly called work to resign and take her out of nursery and then we both got over it and she was fine when I picked her up:

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By the time I picked her up last night, she was even happier after a week of stimulation and fun and tons of food it seems (this has had some very annoying consequences, which I won’t go into here…)

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She still screams every morning when I leave her but I’m not crying anymore and as soon as someone picks her up, she stops (I’ve spied through the window to check). On Monday, I had a lovely “sisterhood of mothers” moment when another mum noticed how upset I was after leaving her and spent 30 mins chatting to me and making me feel better. I got home and it felt WEIRD, it was even more strange to go on the tube WITHOUT A BUGGY, go shopping without her, have lunch with my aunt and uncle without a baby etc. Still the only clothes I bought were for her, Bella-Roo you are always on my mind!

On Wednesday, I took baby steps into the world of television…I will write a whole post about it with links etc. but if you’re interested, tune in to Sky News next Wednesday around 8.50AM and all will be revealed for 2 WHOLE minnutes! One of the most exciting parts involved having professional make up done, which hasn’t happened since my wedding!

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Yesterday, I finally got to use one of my best presents EVER! A great friend of mine gave me a spa voucher after the birth of baby A for what must be the best spa in London. 

  
I had a one hour body massage and then a facial, it was bliss. The facilities are amazing!! It was virtually empty so I had the whole “Thermal floor” to myself, it was such a treat and SOOOOOOO needed.

This was also the first week I didn’t breastfeed in the day and I am happy no report there were no embarrassing leakages, would definitely not be a good look on TV!

Next week, the life of leisure continues with shopping, afternoon tea, lunches, pedicures…

9 Months Later

Posted in Being a mum, Life, Motherhood by

A is 9 months old today, time really started flying once she turned 6 months old, it feels like the quickest summer ever!

Back in October, my first day of maternity leave, I really didn’t know what to expect, one thing I was totally wrong about was thinking my baby would be on time ” I am convinced she is trying to escape so I don’t think we will have to wait until her due date of November 12th to meet her”, I had to wait until 2 weeks after her due date to meet her!!!

One thing I was right about was that things would change at work “I do wonder what I will come back to, how the company will have changed and how I will have changed, who knows how I will feel in months to come”. I don’t go back until November 2nd but I know things will be different. My brain is definitely different and not in a good way!

As for me, have I changed? In what way(s)?

My addiction to social media has gone through the roof, it’s all that spare time you see…Also my blog has gained a lot more readers and some exciting things have started happening (the Mirror published an article about my experience of tongue tie, its been shared more than 300 times!), I really need to make sure I stick to it when I go back to work. its the one thing that has just been “mine”, I know I write a lot about baby related things but it gives me “me” time.

Unfortunately I don’t think blogging has stopped my brain from shrinking 😦 maybe I should stick to making tea the first week I am back at work because I am seriously unsure of how fast my brain can process things nowadays. The lack of sleep doesn’t help, I can really feel like it has slowed down. This morning I thought we were being burgled and then realised it was the cleaner coming in…I had forgotten we have a cleaner that comes every Wednesday, she was off last week and boom: my brain completely forgot about her! I kept thinking: who has the keys? who could it be? Embarrassing.

I’m less judgmental now, once you’ve had a baby you learn not to judge a book by its cover and unless you’ve been in the same situation you can’t always understand people’s actions.

Here are some other things I’ve learnt:

  • I don’t actually need to buy as many clothes as I used to nor spend as much money as before to be happy
  • Never moan about bras again, maternity bras may be comfy but make your boobs look awful
  • Having a husband that cleans and is tidy is life changing
  • Love for your child is not something you can imagine until you have one
  • I think I’ve become more assertive and would stand up for myself more than ever
  • My body is stronger than I ever thought
  • The importance of friends and family is much greater once you’re a parent
  • Parenthood can be all consuming and affect you more deeply than anything else
  • Instincts are seriously powerful
  • The sound of your baby laughing is the best in the world

Happy 9 months Bella-Roo! Looking forward to making the most of the end of maternity leave together!

What “They” Don’t Tell You About Motherhood…Part 1

Posted in Being a mum, Motherhood by

I’ve been thinking of what “advice” to give a pregnant friend of mine and to be honest I’m wondering if I should give her any advice at all as I’ve only had one baby and I don’t want to influence her too much. For example a friend of mine told me not to rock babies because they get addicted, I took this as bible and told my mum off for rocking the baby to sleep. It’s far from ideal to rock your baby to sleep for months but when they are a few days old, it’s no big deal!

So here are some tips/experiences/advice/truths in my option that might or might not be helpful:

-Read all baby books with a big pinch of salt and don’t stress if your baby does not to seem to behave as it “should” at all

-Breastfeeding books on the other hand are useful because it can really help to be aware of some facts around latching, growth spurts, tongue tie and milk supply for example

-Get the name of one or 2 lactation consultants whilst pregnant in case you need one and don’t wait to call one if feeding is not going well. If in doubt, get help ASAP! Feeding can be much harder than you could ever imagine

-If you’re struggling, be American and “reach out” to your family or other mums you know or even me! There is no shame in finding it hard, no shame in not loving your baby to start off with, no shame in hating the whole thing, no shame in feeling low, no shame in feeling you don’t know what you’re doing, no shame in crying every day, no shame in wondering why the hell you had a baby, no shame in needing help. Same goes for feeling like it’s easy, lucky you! but maybe be careful about shouting about it to other new mums too loudly.

-Nothing lasts: they sleep then they don’t, they have good days and bad days, it usually does get better but it can take a long time.

-I’ve mentioned it before: the buggy and fresh air are your friends

-Even if you don’t want to, you will compare your baby to others but remember baby ABC may be doing X before yours but then yours will do something else before the others and most “milestones” mean nothing. Einstein started talking aged 4…

-You might think you’ve died and gone to heaven after having a baby and want another one straight away and you might think : never again! Both are acceptable

-The crying can be very hard to handle, it peaks at 3 months so hang in there! Somehow it’s not as bad when you’re outside

-Trust your instincts not google

-What works for one baby might not work for another, it’s not a science but an art…

-The first time you do anything will be daunting but after a while you’ll be taking your baby on a plane alone…

-You will laugh and smile at the tiniest of things, they bring you more joy than anything, it really is all worth it!

 If you remember one thing:  “The days are long but the years are short”